Calgon.....take me away......

My daughter is 10 years old....and I want scream. She is having her BFFL staying over and she pitches a fit because I am using my lap top and she wants to use it so they can play a game online.  I told her that I am waiting on an email and it is my lap top so she could wait until I am done. She mouths off and I can just feel my temperature rising. How could her BFFL want to hang around her when she is being a little brat!!!!????? I feel bad for her because her she is sleeping over and my daughter is acting like this. AUGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!

My husband found out tonight that he will be leaving for school on January 17th. He'll be gone for 6-8 weeks, which will be interesting because I will need to figure out what to do with my kids from the time they get out of school around 3:45 til I get off at 5:00.  I know my sister will help out when she can and I am hoping my mom will be able to come and help out. That all depends on the weather too. When he was deployed for months at a time it really wasn't an issue because I worked at home. 

I am so ready for the holidays to be over.  I am tired of seeing cookies and all the other yummy goodness around.  I have never had strong will power and it is so hard.  Between all of that, letting my daughter stress me out, and knowing my husband will be leaving in less than a month I am not feeling the best. I want to sleep and not have to do anything but just sleep and write and read. I would like a dark room, a lamp, my laptop, my books, and a bed.  Sounds depressing huh???? 

I'm trying to stay out of the kitchen........wish me luck!!!!!

RIP Brittany Murphy

A little bit ago I heard that Brittany Murphy passed away!!!! I can't believe that!!!! Cardiac arrest???? She was so young!!!!  I loved her in "Clueless"...and she held her own in "Girl, Interrupted" with Angelina Jolie and Wynona Ryder. My prayers are with her family.

Today was a rough day.....I keep seeing cookies everywhere!!!!! Ugh!!!! This is killing me!!!!  I think I've done a lot better than previous years. I can't NOT eat them....I just can't eat the amount that I used to. ya know??? 

I really miss my best friend, Carrie. She is going through a rough patch, but I know that she'll make it through. She's a strong woman.

I don't have a whole lot else to say. Just wanted to write. Good night all.....

My Chocolate Hell......

This is a cruel time of year for me!!!!! Here I am wanting....needing.....to lose weight and people keep bringing all of this YUMMY TO MY TUMMY  delicioso treats!!!!!  I LOVE CHOCOLATE!!!!! So, what does a customer do.....BRINGS YUMMY BROWNIES TO MY WORK!!!! They are just chewy chocolate.....they taste like they have butterscotch or something in them too!!!!!  Exhibit A is below...and no, I didn't eat all of that. I had 2 small pieces...which together would still equal a smaller piece than I used to eat, so I am proud about that!

HELLLLLLOOOOOO????? Is there a reason my own personal hell has invaded my workspace???? LOL!!!! Then, right at this moment, my husband is making snickerdoodles (YUM!!!!) and these snowball cookies that have a HERSHEY'S KISS baked right in the middle of them!!!!!!  Just saying that reminds me of this dessert that I order at Outback or some other restaurant bad for me.....it that cake that has melted chocolate coming out of it. You know the one I mean....the one where when you go to take a bite and you put your fork in the cake all of this warm melted chocolate runs onto your plate...mmmmmmmmmm.

Ok, enough driving myself insane. I am just making it worse for myself.  I have this wierd habit. When I start craving food, I get out my recipes I've printed off and start writing them in recipe books. This is going to take forever because I have printed off a ton of healthier recipes.  I am addicted to recipes even though I haven't made but 4 or 5 of them. So far my family has liked everything I've made. Well, my son hasn't but he is a picky eater. He refuses to eat fruits and vegetables. He once told me he'd eat a banana, but ONLY ON WEDNESDAYS!!!! LOL!!!!!  So, I've started getting him that V8 fusion. He won't always drink it though. He frustrates me because he won't eat anything unless 1) he knows there isn't a vegetable in/on it, 2) he can dip it in Ranch, ketchup, or mustard.  We'll sit down to dinner and about 10 minutes into it he will say he's full, his head/throat hurts, or he does'nt like whatever is left on his plate. He was my 10 pound baby and now he's probably not even 55 lbs. He'll be 7 in less than a month.  He gets colds easily and I'm wondering if his eating habits have anything to do with that. If he doesn't eat healthy, does that mess up his immune system?

Well, today started out crappy, but it felt good to sit here and write. Writing calms me.  Hope everyone has a good weekend!!!!!



"The higher your energy level, the more efficient your body. The more efficient your body, the better you feel and the more you will use your talent to produce outstanding results." Anthony Robbins

What I intended......

Ok, I intended for this to be a blog following my weight loss journey. Well, that isn't how it's ended up. I read all of these blogs of people, who like me, have the band and their blogs are awesome! I tend to forget I have this blog....so I wonder if I should just stop altogether or make it a point to blog.


Ok....weight loss info. I had an appt last week and got another fill. My doctor said I am ahead of the "norm". What is normal???? Normal is not getting fat to begin with. Right? Normal people don't get over weight and then have surgery to get over it...right??? Wrong! Whose to say I'm not normal? Whose to say that having surgery was the "easy" way out? Is the "easy" way out being scared you're going to vomit when you take too big of a bite....because it's stuck and won't go down? Hell no!!!!! Surgery isn't the easy way out. You can still gain weight with the band. It's a tool, not a cure. It is so irritating that people consider it easy. When I first decided to get the lap band surgery, I didn't want to tell anyone because I didn't want to hear "You can do the same thing with diet and exercise." Not everyone is able to lose weight just by doing that. Now I am doing that in conjuction with my lap band. I need that reminder if I start to eat too much. 

My doctor asked me if I've found my "sweet spot" yet. At that time I hadn't yet, but now when I eat and get the hiccups, that is when I know to stop.  LOL!  I have always hated it when I get the hiccups....so OF COURSE that is my "sweet spot" signal.  Sometimes though I get them early in my meal and I think  "No way am I done!!!!" 

Well, I need to get some other stuff done. I need to also think about if I am going to continue blogging. I need some ideas!!!

What a night!

Tonight after work, I drove my husband and kids up to KC to meet my in-laws. From there they were headed for their trip to Kentucky. They go every year. I would've loved to go, but I didn't have the time at work to do it. Plus a co-worker recently had surgery so that would've left the office shorthanded. For a day or two before they go til they come back I constantly pray they will get there safe, be safe while they are there, and have a safe trip back. I even have a little cross that fits in my hand and I sleep with it at night. I don't know what I would ever do if I lost my husband/kids.

Last night I made myself a tuna sandwich with a sliced hard boiled egg on it. I was so hungry and probably took too big of a bite. Last night was the first night I vomited since my surgery. Then tonight I got BoLings Chinese food. Was so hungry when I got home and once again...too big of a bite...and vomited again. Thought I got it all back up....took another bite...vomited again....did that a few times. This really sucks. I wrapped the food up and will try to eat it probably later tonight or tomorrow for lunch. I don't know how it'll taste but I don't want to waste it.

I am also so frustrated with a friend. Not Carrie or Donna. How many times can you tell someone that they are important to you and you go out of your way to spend time with them, but can they do the same in return????? HELL NO!!!!

This weekend we went back to our hometown and went to a suprise birthday party. It was so much fun. Danced for the first time in forever. Saw a couple of old friends. Saw a couple people I could've done without seeing. There was one chick I felt like going up to and laughing in her face. LOL! I wonder why her husband hasn't went Coyote Ugly on her ass!!!!???? I know, "Sharon, that's mean!!!" I can't help it. She thinks she is so much better than me. So not true.

My daughter just turned 10...yesterday. My son turns 7 in January. Thanksgiving and Christmas are in between. Busy time of year for us...and expensive. I need to get my Dave Ramsey books back out and get back on track. Bill and I are wanting SOOOO bad to get our financial stuff in order. To be able to know that if something happens we will be ok.

Well, it had been awhile since I had written for awhile and while I know I needed to do some writing, it took a friend asking if I still blogged to get my butt on here to write. I hope that everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Wii Fit Plus

Got my Wii Fit Plus today. I also got the Biggest Loser "game" with it. So....tonight I did my first workout. I did the beginner level and ended up doing 40 minutes....warm up, workout, cool down. I enjoyed it so hopefully I'll keep up with it. I can feel it in my legs right now. They don't really hurt, but they feel weak.

Bad news my family has received recently. My husband's Grandpa (the only grandparent he has left) has just been diagnosed with cancer. Tuesday we should find out all the particulars, but we are pretty sure about what we are going to find out. My husband and the kids are supposed to go see him in Kentucky for Thanksgiving, but if they end up putting him in the hospital on Tuesday then the kids will not be able go to Kentucky. That totally sucks because I am unable to take off of work. If I could I'd go to Kentucky also. This may be the last time my husband sees his Grandpa.

I went to the dr the other day, but didn't get a fill because the dr felt that my portions were the right size and I had lost a few pounds since my last appointment. Hopefully by my next appointment (with the help of my Wii fit Plus) I'll lose some more!!!! YEA!!!!!!!!!!

Well, I'm watching "The Proposal" with my family so I am going to go. xoxo

Feeling poopy....

Hello fellow bloggers. Haven't written on here for awhile. I am just really feeling overwhelmed right now. My two kids were sick for what seemed like FOREVER with the flu and my wonderful husband is the one who was stuck at home with them. I feel bad, but when I get home I know he wants adult conversation (I've been there...when he was in the Marine Corps and I was home all day) and I want peace and quiet. I deal with customers all day who are either very nice (YEA) or very rude (then my mouthiness comes out!!!!!).

My son is in his last 2 weeks of football, but basketball has started so he has football on Tuesdays and Thursdays with games either on Saturday or Sunday and he has basketball on Wednesdays and THursdays with games on Saturday. AND my daughter has dance on Wednesdays....with basketball starting when my son's season is over!!!!! So, weekends are busy and I can't get much done....or what I want done anyway.

I have these lists constantly going through my head of what I want to do. I have a crap load of recipe books that I never use so I am going through them and marking recipes I want to write down....eventually!!!!! I really need to come up with some healthier meal options that even my picky son will eat!!!!

I went and got a fill last week. I just don't know if it's working. I hope I haven't stretched my pouch. I am tempted to just do protein shakes for a few days and then go back to mushy for a few days....and so on. Maybe if I do that then I will feel the restriction????? Any ideas?

I am just feeling really anxious with wanting to do all this stuff and not knowing what I'll be able to get done. My daughter's bday is next month, then we have Christmas, and my son's bday is in January. Guess it's just a bad time of year. Ugh.....I wanna sleep for a few months and wake up with everything taken care of!!!!!

Germs, no restriction, saying I'm sorry, best friend, and grumbling

Ugh....germs are all over my house. Lysol disinfectant has become my best friend. My kids had the flu and now my husband is fighting it. They were out of school for 3 days and my poor husband has been in the house with them and now he is miserable. So far I am doing good....knock on wood.

I have my appt next week and I know I'll get another fill. I haven't had any restriction in the past couple of weeks....I could probably eat a whole pizza if I wanted to, but I don't want to. The other day I got rid of 2 garbage bags of clothes that do not fit anymore. WOO HOO!!!!!! It was kinda scary because it's like what if I fail and I need my bigger "fat" clothes?????? I refuse to let myself get back to that, but it's like throwing away a baby's binky that they just HAVE to have or putting away the blanky that your youngest has to take to school. Ya know?? This is work....it's not taking the easy way out like some people think. Having surgery is never easy...and it isn't cheap. I just can't wait until next week! Is it sad that I look forward to getting a needle stuck into my stomach????

Today I apologized to a girl I went to high school with for being a b*tch. I didn't hate her personally (although she was this petite thing that all the guys wanted....grrrr....we cheered together)just the fact that she was dating my best guy friend and it was like I couldn't be his friend while he was dating her. Thinking back it was sooooo "high school", but it felt good saying I was sorry. I told her it was like getting a weight lifted off my shoulders....too bad it wasn't lifted off of my a$$! LOL!

I want to go see my best friend in South Carolina. She's been going through a rough time and it's gotten a little better, but I want to go see her. I went there last year and it rained the whole time, but I loved it there.

Well, I've grumbled enough today...it started early with an annoying customer!!!! I'm going to watch Gray's Anatomy and then head off to bed.

Are you kidding me?

I'm a flirt. I'm not going to apologize. If someone doesn't like it or whatever, then just tell me, but do not reciprocate the flirting. My husband and I are crazy like that...we flirt with eachothers friends. Big Deal. We've been together 17 years...we've had our "thick and thin, in sickness and in health"...we are still together and we love eachother.

I should've gotten a fill at my last appt. My next appt isn't for 2 weeks and I don't want to show up there and find out I've gained weight. Ugh. The holidays are coming up and all of that good food. Yummy!

I'm trying to talk my friend, Donna, into moving here with her kids. My family loves them all. She doesn't like where she is and liked it here when she visited...so what's the hold up!? LOL!!!!! Well, I'll quit boring everyone. Just wanted to vent a little bit! Thanks for "listening"!!!! xoxox

Ugh....

Ugh...today I faced the scale and wanted to throw it out the window! The past few days I've been a cow. I grazed all day while at work....crackers, a Hershey's kiss....I feel horrible about it! I have a protein bar in my desk drawer and completely forgot about it until the damage had been done. I was reading on LBT about some people joining WW. I don't want to pay to journal. I have done WW and still have my books so I can find points that way and journal on my own, BUT if I had followed through on that I wouldn't be overweight. Ya know??? I just have to be strong!!! I didn't get a fill at my last appt because I had lost 4 lbs in the 2 weeks since my prior appt, but now I'm wondering if I should call and see if they can squeeze me in. I'd only had 2 fills since my surgery in July. Anybody have any suggestions or feel free to slap me upside the head for complaining!!!! Well, I am going to end this for now. It's Friday and I don't have any plans tonight so maybe I'll get back on and journal some more. It seems to calm me.

WooHoo!!!!!

Tonight I was getting out of my work clothes and decided to try on some clothes in my closet that were too tight or I had bought too small. THEY FIT!!!!! Well, they could be a little looser, but I could definitely see myself wearing them by the time the weather gets colder. I'm so excited!!! Today I wore this top that I haven't worn in forever and when I was walking out of the grocery store this guy actually looked at me, walked by and turned to look again. LOL! Yeah, I'm married, but hell, that made me feel good! I need to get some new pants because my others are loose and soon I'll have that bunchy look you get when they are too loose and you wear a belt...ya know?? My husband is so great. He is so proud of me. When I decided to get banded he said "Please don't lose your a$$." Then yesterday he told me I was losing it, but it looked good. :) As of this morning I have lost 33 pounds. That is the most I have ever lost...not counting the weight from giving birth. Haha! I am tired today. It has rained ALL day and it makes me want to get in bed, under the covers, and just veg out.

This week my shows that I like are all starting. I always enjoy this time of the year. :) well, I guess I am going to go. Hope everyone has a good night.

Dr appt today

Went to the dr this morning and lost 4 pounds in the past two weeks....YEA!!!!! We didn't do another fill because I would like to see how I do til my next appt in a month. I don't get as hungry between meals so I am going to see how I'll be in a month...he did say that if I feel like I am wanting to chew my arm off to call and they will fit me in for a fill. I hope that I do good....:)

My parents will be in town this afternoon....my nephews and my son all have home games the next few days so they will be able to see all of the games. I always give my mom crap about only coming to watch my oldest nephew (who is the oldest grandchild) and never watch my kids...LOL!!!! Guilt trip????

Hope everyone has a good week/weekend.....Later peeps!!!!

Biggest Loser

Tonight the season premiere of the Biggest Loser is on. I love this show. I cry every season and for the longest time I would get pissed off at people who take their time there for granted....wanting to quit. I am yelling at the TV "If you don't want to be there then get the f*ck off and let someone else have a chance!!!!" I thought about sending in a tape probably every season it's been on, but 1) I didn't take the time to make one and 2) I didn't want to get on there and let everyone see how much I weighed or to see me in a sports bra and biker shorts. LOL!!!!! I know people can see that I am big, but for them to see me with very little clothes on....HELL NO!!!!! I am losing weight with my lapband....30 lbs so far. I didn't gain it over night and I won't lose it over night....that is totally fine with me. I see my progress whenever I look in the mirror, put on clothes that used to be tight on me, and when I step on the scale. If you have never been overweight you have no idea what it feels like. Yeah, some people get that way by being lazy and eating horrible. Some people have trouble with their thyroid that makes it hard for them to lose weight. I remember being in high school and dating my husband....he was 6 foot and 129 lbs soaking wet when we started dating. I felt so self conscious of being next to him. My best friend in high school, Dana, was this tiny lil' thing...still is!!!! And my best friend now, Carrie, is the same way. They actually remind me a lot of eachother....tiny, dark hair, Southern accents. I love 'em both, but damn did they make it hard to feel pretty next to them!!!!! Then I moved to California....HELLO....FRICKIN' CALIFORNIA WHERE THERE ARE A LOT OF HOT PEOPLE IN BIKINIS AND SHORT SKIRTS!!!! One of my good friends there, Jill, lost a lot of weight and I felt selfconscious around her too. Why do I surround myself with people like that???? I know I am a loving person. I have a big heart. I "have a pretty face". That is the worst thing you could say to an over weight person. I was active when I was younger and then one summer I had appendicitis and couldn't play softball. I spent that summer inside reading books. That is when I fell in love with books, but I think it is also when I started to gain weight. I also have hypothyroidism. So, yeah I am responsible for how I look...and it's been very hard to get it off. I always said I would NEVER have any type of surgery that was cosmetic. I don't consider this elective surgery....I feel that if I want to live to see my grandkids I need to become healthy. I hope that I reach my goal by July of next year. I can't wait for people that I haven't seen in forever to see me. I feel like a hottie on the inside...and when I'm dancing my a$$ off....now I just wanna look like that!!!! I AM GOING TO GET THERE!!!!!!!

How much can we take?

Little towns...everyone knows everybody or atleast you know of somebody...you can't do anything without the coffee drinkers at the local convience store knowing about it. They have had a lot to talk about lately. Louisburg is not a huge city but it's close enough to Kansas City that we are pretty much going to end up a suburb, but we have the small town feel. Everyone is friends with someone or the friend, relative, of someone. In the past month or a little over a month, we have lost 3 people. One was in his 40's when he died, another was 35, and then this weekend a 19 year old passed away. Parents shouldn't have to bury a child. I look at my kids and tear up at just the thought of losing them. Each kiss, "I love you", tear, hug....don't take them for granted because you never know when it'll be the last one. This is not a good way for a week to start out, but I hope that everyone takes the time to tell the people who are important to them that they are loved.

Ugh....

I hate being sick!!!! I am stuffy and and my throat is scratchy. I was in Nebraska for 3 days for work and had a good time. We saw this comedian, Eric O'Shea, and by the time he was done I was rubbing my cheeks (on my face) because I hadn't laughed that hard in a long time. They fed us really well. We stayed at the Hilton Embassy Suites and they have free meals and drinks!!!!! I haven't stepped on the scale since I've been home because I know I won't like the result.

A week ago this past Friday was our high schools first football game of the season. We won by quite a big margin. My nephew was the starting quarterback and got hurt. He has a torn ACL and a torn miniscus. He has a dr's appt Tuesday. We pray it isn't that bad.

Aidan had his first flag football game yesterday and his team won 60-18. We aren't supposed to keep score, but yeah that'll happen. He was so excited. So was Bill, who just happens to be an assistant coach.

I have a dr's appt this Thursday. I don't know if I'll get another fill or not. I need to be more conscious about what i'm eating...actually the amount. I probably ate a little more than I should. Hopefully I'll get over this cold soon. I hate feeling like this.

T-I-R-E-D

I am tired. Today at work we were pretty busy so the day went by quick and then after work the family and I went grocery shopping. Haven't been shopping at a commissary in forever so we went to Belton and shopped at the one there. Milk is only like $1.79!!!!! I couldn't believe it. Then we went to Sam's and got some stuff....then went to Wal Mart for the rest. I hate going to a bunch of different places, but hey you gotta do what ya gotta do. We didn't get home until almost 10 pm...none of us had eaten so the kids each ate a lunchable and went to bed. I ate a Lean Cuisine...easy and filling. Bill is eating some popcorn chicken.

Shae has her cheer clinic tomorrow. I get to sleep in about an hour so that is good. I hope that Bubba sleeps in. I also hope that Shae isn't hard to get up. That frustrates me so much.

I guess I am going to go ahead and go to bed. My eyes are burning. I took out my contacts....washed my face....got my pjs on. Now all I gotta do is get my rear up the stairs and lay down. :)

Heard on the radio and then saw on the internet that DJ AM died of an alleged drug over dose. So sad. He survived a plane crash and then died this way.....

Good night my peeps. xoxo

Little less stress

Made the decision not to sign Shae up for fall softball. Reason being....during the week she and Aidan may have practices on the same night which would mean either 1) I drop her off at practice and leave her there....which I would hate because I like to watch her practices or 2) drop Bill and Aidan off at Aidan's practice. Then their games are on the weekend....Aidan's in Johnson County and Shae's are a different places. I really want her to play, but originally she was only going to do dance in the fall so Aidan would have this season to himself. He didn't play anything this summer and got dragged to all of Shae's softball games. When we signed him up for football he said "Now Shae gets to come to all of my games." LOL!

Today at work I was trying to be creative and make certificates and such for my work for Back to School night. We have the Adobe Suite CS4. I'm taking training on how to use the different programs, but with so much time between classes I tend to forget some of the things I've learned because I don't use it everyday at work.

My parents are FINALLY moving into their "new" house this week. It was my Grandma Obermeyer's house. Mom and Dad got new carpet, wood floors, bedroom furniture, curtains, redid one bathroom. It looks so much better and I am so happy for them. The house they lived in was the one me and my sisters/brother grew up in and it was getting run down.

I go next week for another fill in my Lapband. I am excited. Of course I don't care for the huge needle, but since it doesn't hurt I can live with that. There are days where I am still hungry after I eat, but I resist temptation. Why couldn't I do that before?? Other than not being able to eat raw vegetable at the moment, the hardest thing is not being able to have a drink with my meal. I then have to wait for about 45 minutes after my meal to have a drink. That is when I seem the thirstiest. Probably all the salt in the meals.

I miss my best friend. She lives in South Carolina and has two WONDERFUL BEAUTIFUL kids. They have Angelman Syndrome which I had never heard of until her son, Chandler, was born. I met them when I went to visit last year, and Chandler and Breana made me laugh so much. They have the biggest grins and they know how to make you love them the instant you meet them. I can't wait to see them again. If you get a moment look up Angelman Syndrome. She is a single parent and I know that she is one of the best mom's I know. When Carrie and I get together it's like we're never apart...probably because we text or e-mail almost everyday!!!! :)

Well, Big Brother is on tonight and I need to get my "meal" in before it gets too late. Hope everyone who reads this has a good week. Peace my peoples.

And the stressing out is going to begin.....

Ok, every year before school starts Bill and I say that we are not going to overbook ourselves.....or our kids. Aidan is getting ready to start flag football, Shae is getting ready to start dance for the year, then fall softball is going to start soon and I'm not sure if I should sign Shae up or not. She loved playing this summer and I want her to keep up with it. Dance could sooo help her when it comes to middle school or high school if she wants to be a cheerleader or on dance team. Aidan of course hasn't played football before so this will be new to him. If he does something wrong he wants to give up. I do not want to force him to do something, but I know that if he does this he will love it. He'll be with boys his own age so he'll know them from school.

On top of this, I have Dr appts every couple of weeks right now, then it'll be monthly, then spread out from there. Then Bill's got appts for his eyes and such. I know it is sooo not his fault that he can't drive and he really wishes he could. There are times though that I wish I was in the passenger seat. I get so tired of driving sometimes and because I am the only adult in the house that can I don't really have a choice.

So, I have to find out when practices, games and appts are so that I can get them into my calendar. I feel so unorganized!!!!! I hate feeling like this. I can't sleep because I lay there thinking "ok, i have to do....tomorrow." I am a note person. I make notes for everything. When my mom comes to visit, I make a list for her to make sure she doesn't forget anything. When we go home to visit, I make a list for each of us so we don't forget anything....even for whatever pet we are taking with us!!!!! It's a sickness!!! LOL!!!!

Well, not a whole lot else is going on. I'm trying to remain calm and not grab my calendar. :)

Got me thinking.....

Shelly got me thinking.....she said it seems like I'm holding back in my writing. Well, yeah, I probably am. There are some things that I don't want the whole world to know, but I do get that stuff out cuz I write in my journal all the time. So, I was thinking, what am I not really getting out? LOL....that is a loaded question.

This past week has been pretty stressful in the Murphy household. My kids had their first week of school and my daughter seems to be getting hormonal. Ugh...so not ready to deal with that. She is so emotional...like me, mouthy....like me? LOL. She is 9 (and a 1/2 as she likes to remind me) and there are days that I honestly would not be suprised if she ended up with soap in her mouth more than once. She doesn't curse, but she has said some words that I do not approve of. We have a neighbor whose daughter is a huge bully and Shae finally stood up for herself. Anyway, the bully's mom has made comments about Shae saying "Crap" and Bill and I both said "I'd rather she said that than sh*t or f*ck." My daughter is not perfect but she doesn't purposely hurt people's feelings either. This bully has asked Shae to go to a swim meet with her to watch another of their friends swim and then has the balls to tell Shae that she can't sit with them or play with them. She does this to Shae at the pool too. Bill heard her one day and was like "Oh HELL no!" From that day on Shae hasn't been able to play with that girl. She and the other little girl are BFFLs (Best Friends for Life....Trollz say that! LOL!). I think this other girls mom finally realized that no one wants to play with her daughter. She took them out of our public school which is an AWESOME school and put them in a Catholic school. This girl is a tom boy so it is so funny to see her in her jumper. This mom actually came to my house one day because Bubba smacked her on the butt....they were playing basketball and Bubba gave her a "good game"...LOL!!!! We had to tell Bubba that he can't go around doing that because not everyone gets it. :)

Bill made a roast in the crockpot today and it was SOOOOOOOO good. The meat was so moist that it wasn't hard for me to eat. The only thing I do hate is that I have to concentrate on protein first...veggies and other stuff etc last. I LOVE VEGETABLES and I would usually eat those first. I can't wait until I can eat salad again. Actually I just wanna eat broccoli. I guess I could eat it steamed...love it that way too.

Well, I'm watching BB now and I don't have my laptop charger near by. I promise to write more...and not hold back....some day soon. :) Thank you Shelly for getting me to think.

Big step today

Today my 9 year old daughter asked me if she could ride her bike to school with her best friend. Now this doesn't seem too bad right?? Well, I'm one of those parents who gets online to see how many sex offenders live close to us. We only live maybe 10 blocks from the school and I drive by there on my way to work, so I can check on her, but it was still hard for me to say yes.

This is the 2nd day after my fill. I haven't really felt any different, but I'm guessing after I start to eat "regular" food that I will feel the difference. I know some people think it was a drastic measure for me to take, but I don't have the will power to do it on my own. That actually makes it sound like I took the "easy" way out....if you call surgery easy.

My son informed me to day that he really likes his teacher and that he and his "best buds" played Transformers during recess. I am so glad that he is back in school because during the summer he has 1 boy that lives near us that he can play with. At school he has all of his "guy" friends to play with.

I am feeling antsy tonight. I feel the need to write...to actually put pen to paper. It calms me. I think I probably have 2 or 3 journals which I write in at anytime. I have to have paper near me at all times. My all time dream is to write a book. My best friend, Carrie, said I should because my letters to her are so entertaining. LOL!!!! I don't know about that.

Well, I am guessing I should quit boring those who actually read this......so later ya'll.

My Journey

Five weeks ago today I had my lapband surgery. People have said "you don't look like you need it", "you can do it without surgery", etc. Truthfully...yes, I did need it and obviously I couldn't do it without surgery. I remember being weighed in middle school for something and the scale said 150 lbs! That was larger than any of my friends. And throughout the years I've just gotten heavier and heavier....two kids later, here I am.

Today I got my first fill. I'm having to play it safe with the eating. Today is liquids, tomorrow protein shakes, and the next day mushy food. Not much fun, but so worth it. My goal is to see that scale back down to 150. :)