Yesterday was hard

Yesterday I drove my husband to the airport and said goodbye to him for atleast the next 6 weeks. He is near Chicago attending a school for the blind and visually impaired. After he was retired from the Marine Corps we didn't think we'd ever be apart for more than a few days at a time. So, while he was hugging and kissing our kids goodbye I was walking upstairs crying because although it is hard to tell your spouse goodbye, it's even harder to see them hug/kiss their kids goodbye. When he deployed to Iraq, Aidan fell asleep and Shae wasn't really aware of what was going on. This time they both understand and I'm wishing they were still unaware.

Today will be my first day with the kids to myself. We will have to stick to our busy schedule and not dwell on the fact that daddy isn't there to kiss them good night. I'll lay in my big bed and cuddle with his pillow that he thoughtfully sprayed with his cologne. If I'm feeling really lonely I can wear one of his t-shirts. I can wake up in the middle of the night and text him...."I love you and miss you babe." I know he won't get it until he wakes up the next morning, but he will not go a day without me telling him.

He was nervous to fly by himself. He had his cane and sunglasses on. People are rude. Hello, you see a guy walking with his cane sweeping from side to side....get over. As the flight attendant came to get him to take him on the plane we hugged and kissed goodbye. When I got to my car I text him. When I got home I text him. He called when he landed and said it was a rough landing...which was hard enough for him when he could see what was going on. He got his luggage and was waiting for his driver. He got to the school and is now trying to not be so nervous about his new surroundings.  My Big Bad Marine has a hard time asking for help, but I think him being in a new place will make him realize that he will need help sometimes. I wish I was there to help him, but I know he needs to do this on his own.

So, the next few weeks will have its ups and downs and I am hoping that when I get to fly out to see him that he has learned it is ok to ask for help...it doesn't make you any less of a "man". :)