Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Biggest Loser

Tonight the season premiere of the Biggest Loser is on. I love this show. I cry every season and for the longest time I would get pissed off at people who take their time there for granted....wanting to quit. I am yelling at the TV "If you don't want to be there then get the f*ck off and let someone else have a chance!!!!" I thought about sending in a tape probably every season it's been on, but 1) I didn't take the time to make one and 2) I didn't want to get on there and let everyone see how much I weighed or to see me in a sports bra and biker shorts. LOL!!!!! I know people can see that I am big, but for them to see me with very little clothes on....HELL NO!!!!! I am losing weight with my lapband....30 lbs so far. I didn't gain it over night and I won't lose it over night....that is totally fine with me. I see my progress whenever I look in the mirror, put on clothes that used to be tight on me, and when I step on the scale. If you have never been overweight you have no idea what it feels like. Yeah, some people get that way by being lazy and eating horrible. Some people have trouble with their thyroid that makes it hard for them to lose weight. I remember being in high school and dating my husband....he was 6 foot and 129 lbs soaking wet when we started dating. I felt so self conscious of being next to him. My best friend in high school, Dana, was this tiny lil' thing...still is!!!! And my best friend now, Carrie, is the same way. They actually remind me a lot of eachother....tiny, dark hair, Southern accents. I love 'em both, but damn did they make it hard to feel pretty next to them!!!!! Then I moved to California....HELLO....FRICKIN' CALIFORNIA WHERE THERE ARE A LOT OF HOT PEOPLE IN BIKINIS AND SHORT SKIRTS!!!! One of my good friends there, Jill, lost a lot of weight and I felt selfconscious around her too. Why do I surround myself with people like that???? I know I am a loving person. I have a big heart. I "have a pretty face". That is the worst thing you could say to an over weight person. I was active when I was younger and then one summer I had appendicitis and couldn't play softball. I spent that summer inside reading books. That is when I fell in love with books, but I think it is also when I started to gain weight. I also have hypothyroidism. So, yeah I am responsible for how I look...and it's been very hard to get it off. I always said I would NEVER have any type of surgery that was cosmetic. I don't consider this elective surgery....I feel that if I want to live to see my grandkids I need to become healthy. I hope that I reach my goal by July of next year. I can't wait for people that I haven't seen in forever to see me. I feel like a hottie on the inside...and when I'm dancing my a$$ off....now I just wanna look like that!!!! I AM GOING TO GET THERE!!!!!!!

1 comment:

  1. I wish I could watch the biggest looser! We get it over hear like 6 months to a year later! I wish I could watch it online or something but I can't. And they do not even have the Seasons on DVD. I think I have only watched one or two seasons since being over here. The one that just ended was the one that the hispanic girl and her mother were on. And The daughter was the winner. I think they were the pink team!

    I never knew you were self counsious around me! I never even thought about it! I was the one, at the Alley, that looked like a fool dancing beside you!

    Anyways...I just wanted to say that I am happy that you are loosing weight and feeling better! I am happy that you have found something that works for you. Maybe when we get back to the states we all (Donna, Carrie, Tyna, Deanna and Jennifer) can all meet up and have a girls weekend. I said the same thing to Tyna....or maybe it was you....It would be so fun to see everyone again.

    We are probably going to end up in California again. Iw ish we were going to the East coast but Val wants to go to California. We will not find out for a while though. Waiting to find out if he gets selected for Warrent Officer and if he doesn't get that then we will need to wait to see if he picks up E8 (he is in the zone). It is a big waiting game now! I just want to know where we are going!

    I will talk to you soon...Going to go to bed!

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